My grandmother, Elizabeth Bradley died Monday morning. You probably
already know that by now. We miss her now, but the truth is, we've actually
been missing her for years. Sometimes suddenly, and sometimes gradually over my
grandmother's last several years, she has left us a little at a time. So
profound is the difference between the "Grandma Elizabeth" of my
childhood and the "Old Ma" of these last several years, I offer the following in tribute to the
sturdy, vibrant woman whose life of nearly 88 years we will celebrate tomorrow.
http://www.dossfuneralhome.com/obit2.html
http://www.dossfuneralhome.com/obit2.html
The following are some things I'd like to share
about my grandma; things you may not know, or things you may have forgotten.
1. My
grandma did a lot of fun things with us when we were kids. She and my grandpa
took us fishing. And she dressed the fish; I can remember plainly the thud of
the hammer against the fish's head on the picnic table as she gave the fish a
good sturdy whack before cutting into it behind the gills. She took Ben and Jonathan
to the gun & dog auction, and she happily got up at the crack of dawn to go
yard-saling with my mom, Aunt Myrna, Jessy and me.
2. She
read us stories when we stayed with her on sick days, and she made us jello and
tapioca pudding. She also introduced me to that fabulous breakfast treat:
peaches & cream Quaker instant oatmeal...with oreos crumbled on top. Yum!
Cornbread, Tang drink mix, popcorn, homemade noodles cut with the noodle disker,
and of course, there was the special RED birthday cake. These were her special
treats for us.
3. She
was my grandpa's most faithful farmhand, even after they were
"retired" and living in town. He still needed someone to open the
gates.
4. She
did not add enough sugar to her iced tea or pies, and she only allowed a tiny
sliver of cool whip with a slice of pumpkin pie (or any other dessert that
required a garnish of cool whip). So, Dad and Uncle Duane would bring their own
tea and cool whip to Christmas, Thanksgiving, etc. My parents had conflicting
opinions as to why my grandma, who was certainly a good cook, used sugar/cool
whip so sparingly. My mom's opinion was that grandma was convinced excessive
sugar in one's diet brought on diabetes; my dad's take was that she was
"too cheap" to buy sugar.
5. My
dad had only recently learned (when he took over her grocery shopping for her)
of her daily addiction to the above-referenced "fruit and cream"
variety pack of Quaker instant oatmeal (though she didn't add the oreos
daily...or at any time except when entertaining grandchildren). My dad was
shocked/awed/appalled/betrayed to learn that this woman whom he knew to be the
most frugal of the frugal purchased this product. He would have been surprised
to learn she even knew such a product existed and purchased it as an occasional
luxury splurge. To learn that she consumed it as a DAILY INDULGENCE...wow...let's
just say that's not how he claims she raised him.
6. She
never owned a TV with a remote control. She never bought a converter box, and
she never bought a digital TV.
7. She
also never threw anything away.
8. She
loved clothes. And shoes. And purses. And costume jewelry. All secondhand, or
homemade, of course. It's one personality trait that left years ago, as
evidenced by the fact that she completely wore out her last purse. She used to
switch purses multiple times per season. She gleefully dug through piles at
yard sales and racks at secondhand stores, often remarking how hard it was to
find good stuff "these days" at yard sales.
9. She
carried my grandpa's wallet in her purse from the time he died until she did.
She told me she kept an "emergency $20 bill" in it, "just in
case" so Grandpa could help her out if she ran short at Aldi's or KFC or
wherever. I checked her purse recently. His wallet was still in there, but the
$20 had long since been spent. I wondered at that point if she even remembered
why she carried that wallet with her anymore. I also wondered why on earth she
insisted on lugging that heavy purse around with her everywhere, when she could
barely even lug herself around anymore.
10. Her middle name was Adelaide, and she didn't particularly care for it.
11. My grandma was a practical pessimist. And why
wouldn't she be? The fifth of 8 children, she lost her dad when she was about
10 years old. She lost her firstborn in infancy. A daughter, Janet Faye. Nearly
20 years ago, she lost her husband, my Grandpa Pearl. Almost 12 years ago, she
buried a son, Duane, and a little over a year ago, she lost her daugher-in-law,
my mother, Diane. She survived all but one of her seven siblings.
She often made comments, such as, "I just
don't see why I'm still here. Why hasn't He taken me home yet?" That was
the sort of comment she would make regarding death. In response to one such
comment she made at the visitation of one of her siblings, my dad replied,
"You're not dead yet because He's waiting on your attitude to
improve."
Toward the very end, she sometimes wouldn't even
comment. We would ask her how she was doing, and she would often just turn her
hands, palms up and shrug in a helpless, frustrated gesture that said it all.
When I was a child, she was often quoted saying,
"Life's a bitch, and then you die." Now, please understand, my
grandmother didn't swear. Except for when she would say "Life's a bitch,
and then you die." So, yes, she had a generally pessimistic attitude. But
it was because she was looking forward
to going home; not because she was looking back and dwelling on all the
heartache she had endured. So, maybe we could say she was very optimistic about
her pessimism.
But in your
hearts revere Christ as Lord. Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone
who asks you to give the reason for the hope that lies within you. --I Peter 3:15
