I will be patient.

Tonight, when they were all finally asleep, I went in to check on them, and I stayed for a minute or two, observing how sweet they all are when they are asleep, their steady breathing, their smooth skin, their strangely contorted, uncomfortable-looking bodies curled up in their little beds. It was one of those days today. I needed, so desperately, the reminder that they are in fact, more or less, sweet little boys.

I am not a patient person. Not even close. And this time of year, what precious little patience God gave me is depleted rapidly. You see, my husband's career choice subjects me semi-annually, to single parenthood. 

My job description (that of Farmwife USA) further dictates that I (taking turns, in cooperation and coordination with my farmwife colleagues) faithfully pack food to the crew, lest a tractor have a chance to cool off during the peak farming seasons. This requires organization on a military scale, it seems, to arrive at lunch-ish time with a hot, home-cooked meal and a 2 gallon jug of cold iced-tea. And a backseat full of 3 little farmboys. Truthfully, the boys and I are happy to get out and see our farmers, so really we don't mind. That much. Ok, they (they boys) actually live for this daily outing. It's a huge pain in the ass significant amount of work for the farmwife.  

Today, I cheated. For the bargain price of $42, I scored four cheeseburgers with fries and two orders of chicken strips from the local cafe. I still brought the 2 gallon jug of tea. Plus capri sun and pureed peas for the aforementioned farmboys.

Tomorrow is John's last day of preschool. He is sweet and compassionate. He is stubborn and whiny. He's tall, with fair skin, dark brown eyes, and long eyelashes. He told me today, "I'm going to be a farmer when I grow up. It's been on my agenda for quite some time."

Tomorrow Patrick will still be three. He's goofy, cuddly, and sensitive. His temper has a hair trigger and he's prone to the most unbelievable rage spirals. He's tall, with fair skin, dark brown eyes, and long eyelashes. It was a chilly day for May today. He was outside this afternoon, wearing gum boots and NO pants. And he had his shirt tucked into his underwear.

Tomorrow Theodore will wake me up at the crack of dawn. He's mild-mannered and enamored with his older brothers. He's obsessed with cheerios and eating in general. He's skinny, with fair skin, eyes that are not quite brown, and long eyelashes. He didn't really say much today. He probably won't say much tomorrow.

Tomorrow, I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient. I will be patient...

(And, yes, I typed that over and over, rather than Ctrl+C and Ctrl+V...I thought it might do me more good that way.)

A Reason to Get Out of Bed

I'm not a morning person. I've never been one of those people that can sleep in until 10:00, but I enjoy snuggling in my nice warm bed as long as my boys will let me (which, truthfully, isn't very long).

I used to be a night owl to compensate, but motherhood changed that. I generally turn into a pumpkin if I'm not in bed by 10 pm.

But this time of year, my internal clock seems to reset. I find myself, lying in bed, long before dawn, waiting for the coffeepot to kick on. Often, I find myself just getting up and turning it on manually. We're talking early here. Somewhere between 5 and 6 am.

I normally try not to get out of bed before 7:30.

I just can't stay in bed knowing accounting awaits me downstairs in my office. I love accounting. To you non-accountants, this may seem odd, but I do.  Running my own tax & accounting practice is the realization of a dream I've had for years.

So, I disentangle PW's fingers from my hair, ease out of bed, put on my bathrobe and slippers, and get a cup of coffee for me and a sippy cup of milk for PW, in hopes of keeping him off my trail for a little while. If I'm lucky, he'll stay in bed with Matt for a while, drink his milk, and maybe go back to sleep. Generally not, but maybe.

Side note: this kid really doesn't require sleep. He went to sleep about 10:30 last night (2.5 hours after bedtime), awoke in the middle of the night, maybe 2 am, I'm not really sure; then, per his usual habit, found his way into our bed and dozed restlessly with his fingers entwined in my hair until I got up about 6:00. He typically wants to get up when I do, unless I can get him to stay in bed with the milk strategy.

Some days, it goes better than others. I get to my desk, start with my e-mail, as I watch the dawn break out my office window. (the picture below was taken as I was standing under our dusk-to-dawn light, hence the funny foreground glow...Sunday's sunrise was better, but I didn't get a pic)

This morning, as I was working, I heard a chair dragging across the kitchen floor; not entirely unexpected or uncommon. Fortunately, there is another adult in the house, in the very next room, so I didn't worry too much.

 Then my firstborn comes downstairs to eagerly report he has gotten dressed all by himself with no whining. (he gets a sticker for his sticker chart if he does this in the morning). So, I tell him he can go get a sticker. He runs back upstairs, and immediately, the most mournful my-dog-was-hit-by-the-school-bus-while-I-watched-type-of-wailing starts.

 It turns out, PW had dumped tea all over John's sticker chart, and one of the pictures he had so proudly glued on it had been torn off. This is a big deal when you're 4. PW, meanwhile, is just sitting at the table eating a cupcake.

We assured him it would dry, soothed his ruffled feathers as much as I could, and went back to typing this post. Now, PW is crying, and as near as I can tell, it's because his dad won't let him have a second breakfast cupcake.

I should go upstairs, but, strange as it may seem, accounting seems more attractive than dealing with two mad boys and, understandably by now, a not-so-chipper daddy.

So, now, I'm questioning my motives. Do I get out of bed early because I love accounting? Or to escape the morning?

Yes. My initial thesis is correct. I'm eager to count those beans; escaping the morning is just a happy side benefit.

More crying. Gotta go. Have a great Monday!

Taking My Own Advice

From time to time, I take on various self-improvement projects, some of which are fruitful. During 2011, these projects have included praying, cooking, running, reading, and sewing, and probably others.

Inspired by The Millionaire Next Door, by Dr. Tom Stanley, I’ve decided to get a better handle on my family’s living expenses.

I’ve decided to put myself and my family on a budget.

I heard that. You gasped. “What?! No Clark Family budget?! But she’s an accountant! She has to do a monthly household budget.”

Well, there, I’ve confessed it. Like a carpenter sleeping under a leaky roof, a mechanic driving a crappy truck, and a farmer with a crop failure in the backyard garden, this accountant keeps no household budget. Shame on me. Budgeting is my new self-improvement project.

Back when I worked in the real world…what seems like a hundred years ago now…Matt & I created what the author of the book calls “an artificial environment of economic scarcity,” or something like that. Basically, this means, when you get paid, you take money out of your paycheck and save or invest it first before you pay bills or buy groceries. The idea is that if one feels like she has no money, one will act like she has no money and thus blow less money on fake pearls, fountain soda, and super-cute shoes. Well, this worked fine as long as I had a paycheck, but like so many things in our lives, cancer changed this too. Working while our infant was undergoing cancer treatment was neither practical nor desirable and thus there was no steady paycheck to facilitate this strategy.

On the first day of every week each one of you is to put aside and save, as he may prosper, so that no collections be made when I come.—I Corinthians 16:2

When the most intensive phase of John’s therapy ended, I went back to work briefly on part-time basis, then opted for self-employment. Matt & I have never taken the time to re-implement this strategy that served us so well in the early years of our marriage. It was not that it was not possible to create a new household spending strategy; we just lacked the initiative to do so.

If you’ve ever been a farmer or a farmwife, you know that those summer months between the time you apply your hard-earned cash (and, if your banker agrees, perhaps some of his) to purchases of fertilizer, fuel, seed, and chemicals, and the harvest season when your crop comes to fruition can get long. The same is true in the tax preparation business, which is also seasonal.

Thanks to the nature of our jobs, the threat of actual economic scarcity is always at the back of my mind, and sometimes at the front of it. That’s why I’ve decided to adopt a defensive strategy against this threat.

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.”—Proverbs 21:5

I’ve identified at least 4 elements of this strategy.

1.       Household Expense Account

I always advise my clients who are business owners to have separate checking accounts for their business and personal spending. This is another bit of my own advice I have been slow to adopt, but, a couple weeks ago, we opened a checking account just to pay household expenses. This will avoid having dozens of transactions posted vaguely every month to “owner’s draw” in the general ledgers of our businesses.

2.      Monthly Transfer

After estimating monthly household expenses, I will transfer to this account only enough to cover this amount and use this money for discretionary household spending. No more will I use the excuse of accumulating credit card points to justify credit card use. I’ve heard somewhere that researchers have discovered that shoppers tend to spend more when using a credit card as opposed hard cash because the expenditure is not as real when you’re using plastic. This supposedly holds true whether or not credit card holders carry a balance or pay the card off every month. I should look up the statistic and cite it here, but my boys are nagging me to get them drinks, so I won’t right now. I really don’t think this behavior pattern holds true if one is a disciplined spender and saver, but as I confessed, I no longer am.

3.      Grocery Envelope

I honestly do not have a good idea of what we spend on groceries, but I know, next to our house payment and health insurance, it is our largest monthly expenditure, and furthermore, it is an expense which we can control from month to month. So, I’ve put myself on Dave Ramsey’s envelope system with regard to grocery spending. At the first of each month (today) I intend to put the cash estimated to be required for our monthly food expenditures in an envelope and attempt to use only this money to feed my family. I actually did this last night, right before buying 2 gallon of milk and a dozen eggs from the grocery store and 2 pizzas from Casey’s. So, before the month even started, my grocery fund is down $30! I fear I have not been realistic about the amount of cash I’ll need. But that’s the idea; to quantify the expense, then work to reduce it.

4.      Just say “NO” to Wal-Mart

I loathe above most all things a trip to Wal-Mart, but that’s not why I’m finding it important to avoid it. Analyzing our household expenditures year-to-date, I was ashamed to see how much money I have spend at Wal-Mart. Of course, al lot of this was no doubt groceries, but you and I both know, a lot of it was not. It’s difficult for me to get a handle on grocery spending when shopping at Wal-Mart because, inevitably, I’ll buy a pile of fabric remnants, a birthday gift, and a new toilet seat, in addition to $100 worth of groceries. Yes, I suppose I could pay for the groceries separately, but that’s one reason I dislike going to Wal-Mart; I don’t want to be stuck behind that woman who is paying separately for purchases for work, her Grandma, and each of her own 4 kids. I find I’m not nearly as tempted to buy stuff we really don’t need if I shop at Dollar General, simply because they really don’t have anything I actually want. Sure, their laundry soap and toilet paper may be a little more expensive, but if I go in to buy laundry soap and toilet paper, I only come out with laundry soap, toilet paper, and a gallon of milk, which we always need anyway.

I’m planning on a grocery trip in the next few days; we’ll see how it goes…